What works?

• Respect your partner enough to find out something about them in advance.
• Plan: anticipate possible objections and questions.
• Formulate alternatives, ideas and solutions (don’t leave it up to your partner).

Preparing your strategy:

• Define exactly what you want and how you will ask for it.
• Be specific.
• Keep it as short and concise as possible.
• Cite technical skills.
• Cite relevant experience.
• Cite your availability for what you want.

Approach: negotiate in good faith (and assume your partner is, until proven wrong)

• Understand what your partner needs.
• See things from your partner’s viewpoint.
• Help your partner solve their problems.
• Help your partner succeed in their job/project/goals.
• Offer alternatives. Give something to get something.
• Listen carefully.

Your style:

• Persistent (but not aggressive)
• Polite and friendly (non-threatening)
• Open, honest, transparent
• Be sensitive to different cultures and genders: what you think is neutral might be insulting to others.

• Get a time commitment.
• Follow up in writing.

• Even a “small yes” is a win. It can be the basis of a broader agreement.
• Both sides should feel “they got a good deal” afterwards.
• If it doesn’t work, remember: continuing relationships are valuable (no one can foresee the future; things change).